Stress-the cause of many modern day problems in our lives.

What is negative or unhealthy stress?...

Stress when positive is an important component of living. It generates the energy needed for the production of desirable responses to the demands of daily living.

Separation,Divorce and Marital Reconcilliation will put you under a great deal stress

Being under external stress (work and family obligations,just living) can also put undu stress on your marriage and relationships .often it is hard to know if we are stressed because of our relationship or external sourses of stress are impacting on our relationships... If you are the instigator or not of a separation or divorce you will feel fair amount of stress as you can see from the Social Re adjustemnt rating below.For the spouse being left behind it usually means sleepless nights,weight loss or weight gain (from eating comfort foods) and can lead to being run down and situational "depression"...what also is important for men who divorce( not intigated by the man) is that they could well develope a major life thretening illness within approximately 5 years of their divorce.

Getting Married will also put you under stress...and from the pertspective of this website both Seperation and Marital Reconcilliation score highly for stress and social re adjustment...

Of course a change in number of arguements with your partner has a rating.

Stress become 'unhealthy' or 'distress' when is is caused by any factors that put the mind and/or body under some form of undue duress. There are many kinds of negative stresses in our life, our beliefs, our attitudes,emotional distubances,illness orpain,divorce, bereavement,financial problems, all these cause 'distress' reactions. Our responses to them vary widely--from simple anxiety and restlessness to desperation, panic or other psychsomatic conditions. If negative stress is ignored or denied it can often lead to undesirable outcomes...

Social Readjustment Rating Scale(Thomas Holmes & Richard Rahe)

Life Event


Death of Spouse 100
Divorce 73
Marital separation 65
Jail term 63
Death of close family member 63
Personal injury or illness 53
Marriage 50
Fired at work 47
Marital reconciliation 45
Retirement 45
Change in health of family member 44
Pregnancy 40
Sex difficulties 39
Gain of new family member 39
Business readjustment 39
Change in financial state 38
Death of close friend 37
Change to a different line of work 36
Change in number of arguments with spouse 35
Home Mortgage over $100,000* 31
Foreclosure or mortgage or loan 30
Change in responsibilities at work 29
Son or daughter leaving home 29
Trouble with in-laws 29
Outstanding personal achievement 28
Spouse begins or stops work 26
Begin or end school 26
Change in living conditions 25
Revision of personal habits 24
Trouble with boss 23
Change in work hours or conditions 20
Change in residence 20
Change in schools 20
Change in recreation 19
Change in church activities 19
Change in social activities 18
Mortgage or loan of less than $100,000* 17
Change in sleeping habits 16
Change in number of family get-togethers 15
Change in eating habits 15
Single person living alone **
Other- describe **

Medical authorities in the western world have recently stated that...

"More than 20% of the general population are so stressed that they find it very difficult to cope with normal daily living".

Stress is a contributing or casual factor in many illnesses....

Negative beliefs... Positive beliefs are healthy and produce patterns that can improve good performance and feelings of ease, well being, contentment, harmony and success. This leads to healthy motivation,challenges and a zest for living fully.

Beliefs when negative ,like fear and worry can result in distress. These pernocious belefs diminish performance,cause conflicts, create unwanted harmful habits and can manifest accident prone conditions. It reinforces feelings of frustration, insecurity,ineptitude,anger,struggle and guilt. All these are your sub conscious

warning signals of the need to adapt more appropriate beliefs and behavior patterns

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Avoiding the stress of Divorce

Article in the Toronto Star:Relationship problems high on stress list
Save your marriage-stop your divorce-save your relationship